I'm just a kid
by Imjustlikeyou12
Summary: Style -StanxKyle- Stan and Kyle has drift away from each other, and Stan can't stand it.


_**I'm just a kid**_

I guess it all started already in the sixth grade. We had been spending our days together so long as I can remember, but suddenly and slowly we began to slip apart. We were together all day in school but we never did anything together after school or on weekends nor on holidays. We didn't even call each other to ask.

What did we actually do when we sat there, all alone in our houses?

It was not hard to pretend that everything was okay. All I did was smile. _I'll use a fake smile so everyone thinks that I'm feeling alright. _And I guess it worked. I even fooled you, my dear.

As we began in the seventh grade we were split into two classes, and you and I were not in the same anymore. The teachers said that it wouldn't matter if we were in the same class or not, we could still see each other after the lessons.

Yeah, in my fucking ass. We did never have break at the same time. And that was when we lost all our communication to each other.

After just a few weeks we both started to change. I guess I kind of turned Emo again, and those I called friends started to ignore me. Even you. When you saw my change you just stared at me, wondering what was wrong, but I said that I just liked the look. Sure, I did but to tell the truth I just wanted you to see me again.

Time passed and one day on my way home I saw you on the other side of the road, walking home together with Kenny. I watched you from distance, and I heard your laughter. And I saw your smile. But you smiled together with Kenny. Not with me.

It hurt me to see you smile with someone else. It really hurt that I was not the one who could make you laugh anymore. I came home, sad and needed someone to talk to. I really need my mom or dad right there. But I came home to an empty house. Both my parents were at work and Shelly was still in school.

I totally broke down in the living room and cried. I fell on the floor with my hands to the face and just cried. It felt like a knife was stabbing by heart again and again. Where could I turn? What could I do?

A part of me wanted to just rip myself apart and die. Another part of me knew that I was pathetic and should just try and make contact with you again. But if you wanted to spend you day with me, why didn't you take contact with me?

When I finally stopped crying and made in to the kitchen I saw those knives my mom had washed. That's what Emo's do, right? Cut themselves.

My body moved on itself but when I got the knife in my hand I thought: "what the hell am I doing?" I was strong enough to not do such a stupid thing and just walked up to my room and fell on my bed, trying to not think about anything. But still my thoughts always went over to you. What did you and Kenny do at the time I was crying like a baby on the floor?

When the winter holidays came my family started to worry about me. They carefully asked me what you were up to, and I just answered "I don't know", because it was true. How could I know what you were doing when we hadn't talk for a long time?

My parents left me alone in my room. Sometimes they came to check me, and every day they asked what you were doing and I gave them the same answer. And when school started again, even the teachers seem to have noticed. Mr. Mackey took me to his office where he talked to me, he didn't ask anything what was wrong, and he just talked how things were in the family and school at first. But when he started talk about friends I felt a bite in my stomach but I couldn't hold myself from telling the truth. I was lonely, I didn't have any friends anymore, you hated me and I missed him so much. I couldn't make it without him. I needed him more than anything else in the world.

I cried for the first time in front of an adult. When I stopped crying he said that everything was going to be alright. I said thank you and left. My mind was blank the rest of the day of school and by the end of the day I was called to Mr. Mackey's office again and when I got there, as Mr. Mackey opened the door for me, I heard how someone was crying.

_Oh God! No! No no no no no!_ Was my first thought, because I knew who it was. I tried to back away, but Mr. Mackey grabbed my back and pushed me inside.

You were sitting there with your face in your hands, crying endlessly. It made me cry too, I didn't dare to say anything. What had Mr. Mackey told you? The entire thing I've said?

"You see boys," Mr. Mackey said. "You both have had the same thing in mind all this time you see, mm'kay. You both have been thinking "He is not calling me, he doesn't want to hang out with me anymore". Neither of you just dared to take the first step, because you were afraid that the answer would be "no", you see." You sniffed loudly. I looked at you with tearful eyes. _How could this happen?_

"I'll just leave you two alone for a few minutes, mm'kay." Mr Mackey said and left the room.

There was a long silence after the door closed. You sniffed a few times while I just sat there, quiet and let the tears fall. After a while you lifted your head and looked at me for the first time in months. You looked at my face, giving me a small smile with tear in your eyes.

"You've got eyeliner all over your face." You giggled a little.

"Oh, _Kyle_!"

I threw my arms around you and pressed you hard against me, never wanted to let go. It was my turn to cry loudly this time. I felt how your arms embraced me, holding me tightly, and how your head rested on my shoulder.

We held each other for a time, letting the tears dry. It felt a bit empty when we let go of each other. Our faces were red from the cry.

"What… what happened?" I asked stupidly.

"I don't know." You said. "I thought…" You looked away, tears begun coming again. "I thought you were hanging out with somebody else. I thought life went on and you… you didn't need me anymore."

"Oh God…" I said, placed my right hand behind your neck and pressed your head against me. "I guess Mr. Mackey was right, we did think the same thing all the time."

"I guess." We were silent a short while.

"So, what are you doing after school?" You said and looked at me. I just smiled and put my arms around your neck, leaning in and rested my forehead against yours.

"I'm going to spend the afternoon together with my best friend in the whole world."

You smiled widely. Happily. For the first time in so long time both you and I smiled of happiness. We hugged each other tightly one last time before Mr. Mackey came back into the room. We thanked him and left to continue our lessons.

"So, see you after school." You said.

"I'm waiting by the gates." I smiled.

As we met again after school, I took you home to my place. And I smiled so happy for the first time at home. My parents were shocked when they saw me and you together, but at the same time they were happy for us. You and I had a great time, as I can remember. We had so much to talk about. We could talk about so small things for a long time, we didn't even finished talking about everything that afternoon and evening. Lucky for us it was Saturday the next day so you could stay over for the night. Of what I can remember we didn't sleep much that night.

The morning after I remember waking up next to you in my bed. You were sleeping face were relaxed and a small smile played across the corner of your mouth, I couldn't help but smile myself when I saw you. Yesterday I thought that I would never be this close to you again, but here I am, lying next to you once again, just because I talked to someone about it.

I leaned forward and slowly, gently, kissed you bottom lip. You mumbled something in sleep and I pulled back, cupping your soft face and whispered; "_I love you_."

You opened you eyes, still half asleep. "What? What did you say? I didn't hear…" You closed your eyes again, slowly drifted back into the land of dreams.

"Nothing, dude." I whispered and kissed your forehead when I thought you were fully asleep. When I turned myself to go back to sleep, felt your arms slowly embrace me, and I heard you say;

"_I love you too_."

* * *

**So, this is kind of what happened between me and my friend in sixth/seventh grade, except that I wasn't in love with this person. Our school counselor helped us get together again, and it helped so much! **

**Thank you for reading. ^^**


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